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NO to the Beccles Pedestrianisation Scheme

Felicitations to the Unwashed Masses.
Yanny Mac Cockwomble here - formerly yanny mac dwile flonker.

Our Great Leader.

Had all sorts of issues with the DWP since Boris took the helm.
Not his fault.
Bally Trots at the Jobcentre Plus.
(Plus what exactly? Coronavirus??? LOL! <insert emoji>)
They keep faffing around with the Inca Benz - one minute it's 'Support', the next it's 'Credit', then it's 'Support' again, then 'Payment', and now it's an 'Allowance'!
(Haven't had an allowance since Mumsy set up a side account with Matron at boarding school! LOL! <insert emoji>).
They'll be wanting to bog-wash the fruits and dorm-raid in my PJs with hockey sticks next!

Idiots.

And don't even begin to get me started on the Motability 'scheme'?
If I wanted a ruddy electric motor car I'd talk to Noddy first.
It's Green-Wash by stealth.

So I thought I'd give my ha'p'orth on this proposed traffic scheme in my Suffolk property postal code area.

It's bloody ridiculous!
An absolute outrage, and an insult to an Englishman & his castle.

It's the 21st Century for god's sake!
The internal combustion engine is our 'aqua vita'.
If I want to peruse property values, or purchase a shotgun for a perfectly legal shooting party weekend, I don't want to have to park in a public car park.
I haven't a clue how to work one of those god awful tickets machines, let alone having any desire to touch one!
The reason the navvies built our roads was for us, the Great English people, to drive our cars and canter our liveried horses on.
And the reason we have a perfectly adequate single & double yellow line scheme with preference to Blue Badge holders such as myself, is so that WE can help Boris stiffen that flagging economy.
With cold hard credit cards.
And petrol.

So rather than pandering to these ruddy whingey, tree-hugging, snowflakes, I say we should 'Reclaim The Roads'!?
The footpaths are from a bygone age and simply way past their intended use.
At best they're a jousting alley for peasants in mobility scooters and urchins on skating boards.
At worst they're a platform for dirty buskers, so-called 'street-artists' and pinkos 'taking their knees'.
Pedestrianisation leads to misery & litter.

I say we should WIDEN THE ROADS completely.
Do away with the pavements and increase widths to accommodate two SUVS passing at the same time.

If we re-position the bus station on the by-pass, none of the scrote-filled, phone-scrolling, people movers will need to use the inner road system, leaving it free for the modern automobile to engine-idle with freedom, and not live in fear that the Parking Enforcement Officers will fill the Green Party's coffers with their arbitrary taxes.

We didn't beat the Germans at Brexit so that we could be fined for driving our cars fast 'sans-autobahn'.
We didn't jettison the Dutch so that we could ponce about in lycra on a Claud Butler doing wheelies.
We didn't say Au Revoir to the Frogs so that we could sit outside cafe's in the sunshine, drinking & laughing, discussing philosophy, and filling the air with disgusting cigarette smoke!

We need to think of our children.
Our legacies.
And remember the Empire.
And not kow-tow to liberal wishy-washy nonsense, and an under-inflated property market.

I shall be writing to his Lordship Sir Peter Aldous HGV forthwith, and insisting that we return the Town Council electoral system to the way it was, before supposed 'climate change', Chinese takeaway viruses, and this ridiculous obsession with trees & bees!

It's "And did those feet in Ancient Times, walk upon England's greenery......"
(That was BEFORE we had the Mercedes Maybach GLS600).
The extremely wide (yet extremely comfortable) Mercedes Maybach.

Who's with me?
God save Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth, her progeny, and all of her landowning cousins.
Hurrah for Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson of Buckinghamshire!
Let's take back those roads!

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